Neandertal headlines

less than 1 minute read

For two weeks I’ve been reading news feeds about how volcanoes killed the Neandertals. I mean, seriously:

USA Today: “Volcanoes wiped out the Neanderthals?”

National Geographic: “Volcanoes Killed Off Neanderthals, Study Suggests”

NY Times: “Neanderthals Big Loss in Battle of the Elements”

UPI: “Volcanic Winter Blamed for Neanderthal Extinction”

The other stories of the last couple of weeks are some variant of “Neanderthals Were Not So Stupid After All”. They make quite a juxtaposition.

I think they could save some print by combining the stories: “No Longer Rock-Brained, Neandertals Kiss Ash Goodbye”. Or “Neandertals Outwit Ice, Die By Fire.”

Oooh, oooh! “Misunderstood Neandertals Pursue Morose Creator To North Pole”.