Science news from the Swift Report

If you need a laugh, try this piece of fake news from The Swift Report:

PRATT, KS--A junior high school student in this south central Kansas town has been suspended after he implied that a classmate was descended from monkeys. School officials say that they moved to suspend 14 year-old Cody DuFresne after confiscating what they describe as an "evolutionary slur" from his locker. The student had drawn a crude version of the alleged path of primate evolution, depicting a fellow student, 14 year-old Melanie Carthage, as a direct descendent of apes.

I love the drawing itself -- it's classic junior high ("Still stinky!"). And there's this:

But some students at Liberty Junior High School say that they aren't surprised that their classmate ended up running afoul of school administrators. DuFresne, they point out, is known to associate with a group of students who go by the moniker "the Biology Club," and are adherents of the notorious British naturalist Charles Darwin.
Members of the club typically keep to themselves, says seventh grader Katee Danzig. "They wear a lot of black and eat at their own table in the cafeteria," says Danzig. "They're a little creepy."

And in other news,

Members of the Dover, PA school board have ordered science teachers who teach in area high schools to begin each session of their classes with a recitation of the beloved inspirational poem known as "Footprints in the Sand." Board members and some parents say that "Footprints" teaches important lessons about natural history, geology and oceanography.

The site is full of science news satire (hat tip: Evolgen).