Humans evolved from pigs, not apes!

On the subject of pigs, there is this story from the Weekly World News:

Charles Darwin was wrong -- humans evolved from pigs, not apes. And that explains the Biblical prohibition against consuming the flesh of our oinking relatives, according to a startling new theory.
"It's hard to believe, but you and Porky Pig are kissing cousins," says genetic scientist Dr. Basil Hainwright of London.
"Dim recollections of a time when we trotted on all fours and rolled in the mud with our family members probably survived into Neolithic times."

This should end once and for all the theory that it's only men....