Cloven truths

From The Onion:

Anthropologists Trace Human Origins Back To One Large Goat
'Wait, That Can't Be Right,' Scientists Say

Oh, goodness I was rolling when I read this. It’s pitch-perfect satire of paleoanthropology’s stuffed shirts.

"There may be some slight inconsistencies in a few of our results, but I assure you these bone samples and behavioral analyses are all, welllook, I'm not going to stand here and tell you they're not a little ridiculous-looking," said Regina Hubbard-Price, associate director of the American Anthropological Association. "Obviously, with hindsight, yes, it's somewhat odd that our theory presupposes complex hunter-gatherer societies composed of large, 250-pound bipedal goat-men. But a lot of thought went into this, I swear."

Could. Not. Stop. Laughing.