Hot dogs cause mutations

This just in:

Extracts from hot dogs bought from the supermarket, when mixed with nitrites, resulted in what appeared to be these DNA-mutating compounds. When added to Salmonella bacteria, hot dog extracts treated with nitrites doubled to quadrupled their normal DNA mutation levels. Triggering DNA mutations in the gut might boost the risk for colon cancer, the researchers explained.

No word on whether kosher dogs are equally likely to make you a mutant.

Oh, and something about this doesn't scan right:

Future research will feed hot dog meat to mice...

I suppose Chihuahua beats seabirds as mouse chow.