"The bottom end of a muu muu has just been stolen by that macaque"

I'm watching mid-day kid-friendly animal programming, when I realize a central fact of television reality: Jeff Corwin is a freak. Not just any kind of freak. A climbing-up-on-Indian-rooftops-with-urban-monkeys kind of freak. A "Hey lady, that monkey just stole your jogging shorts!" kind of freak.

LUCY: "I don't want this kind of show. I don't want it! I don't want it! I don't want this kind! I don't want this kind!"

DADDY: "Really, you don't want this show?"

LUCY: "I want a cartoon."

DADDY: "Believe me, that's what you're watching."