Conference blues

Michael E. Smith has some suggestions after going to the SAA meetings:

How to give a bad presentation at a professional conference
I have always been amazed at the low quality of many presentations at these meetings, starting at the first one I attended as an undergraduate. It seems that many archaeologists must WANT to give bad presentations. If that is the case, then I can be helpful and give you some tips on giving bad presentations.

Good (inverse) advice follows, mostly centered around reading a prepared text and working poorly with slides.